Fall from Grace

 

I have become disillusioned with people I looked up to. They include: Bill Cosby, Kevin Spacey, Morris Dees, Lance Armstrong, Mel Gibson, Rudi Giuliani, Paula Deen, Tiger Woods & Pete Rose.

Bill Cosby:

• I remember Bill Cosby being funny, and having fun like in this photo. I had a Cosby sweater. I used to imitate the Fat Albert voice and Jello pudding commercials. I am sad about his fall from Grace.

• Once known as "America's Dad," the admired comedian and actor was accused by dozens of women of sexual assault and misconduct.

• Bill Cosby's fall from grace was due to numerous accusations of sexual assault and misconduct, which ultimately led to a criminal conviction (though later overturned) and a significant loss of his once-beloved public image. 

• Here's a closer look:

• Sexual Assault Allegations: Dozens of women came forward alleging that Cosby drugged and sexually assaulted them over several decades. These accusations gained widespread attention, particularly during the rise of the #MeToo movement.

• Criminal Trial and Conviction: While Cosby's first trial related to allegations by Andrea Constand ended in a hung jury, a retrial in 2018 resulted in a conviction on three counts of aggravated indecent assault. This conviction was widely seen as a significant moment in the #MeToo movement, demonstrating that even powerful figures could be held accountable for sexual misconduct.

• Overturned Conviction: Cosby's conviction was later overturned by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court in 2021 on procedural grounds. The court found that Cosby was unfairly prosecuted because a previous district attorney had promised him he wouldn't be charged over Constand's accusations, and that he relied on this promise when giving a deposition in a civil case.

• Continued Lawsuits and Fallout: Despite the overturned criminal conviction, Cosby continues to face civil lawsuits from accusers, and his legacy remains significantly tarnished. His career and public image, once synonymous with fatherly figures and family entertainment, were irrevocably damaged. 

• In essence, the numerous and credible allegations of sexual misconduct and the subsequent legal proceedings caused Bill Cosby's fall from grace, leaving a lasting impact on his reputation and legacy. 

Kevin Spacey:

• Kevin Spacey is so talented. I really enjoyed what he did in American Beauty, House of Cards, the Usual Suspects, Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil, and the Life of David Gale. I am sad about his fall from Grace.

• Kevin Spacey's fall from grace was caused by a series of sexual assault and misconduct allegations that emerged against him in late 2017, coinciding with the rise of the #MeToo movement. 

• Here's a summary of the events:

• Initial Allegations: The first major public accusation came from actor Anthony Rapp, who alleged that Spacey made a sexual advance toward him in 1986 when Rapp was 14 and Spacey was 26.

• Subsequent Accusations: Following Rapp's allegations, several other men came forward with similar stories of alleged sexual misconduct by Spacey, including instances of inappropriate touching and sexual advances. These allegations spanned decades and involved multiple individuals, including those who worked on the set of "House of Cards" and at the Old Vic Theatre in London where Spacey served as artistic director.

• Career Fallout: The accusations led to a swift and significant impact on Spacey's career. Netflix fired him from his starring role in "House of Cards," and his character, Frank Underwood, was killed off. His scenes in the film "All the Money in the World" were reshot with another actor, and Netflix also canceled the biographical film "Gore" in which he was set to star. His agent and publicist also dropped him.

• Legal Battles and Acquittals: Spacey faced legal proceedings in both the United States and the United Kingdom. While he was found not liable in a civil lawsuit brought by Anthony Rapp in the U.S. in 2022, he was acquitted of all charges in a separate criminal trial in the U.K. in 2023, according to AP News.

• Controversy surrounding Response: Spacey's initial response to the allegations, in which he combined an apology to Rapp with a public announcement about his sexual orientation, was met with criticism. Some viewed it as an attempt to divert attention from the allegations. 

• In summary, Kevin Spacey's fall from grace was triggered by widespread allegations of sexual misconduct and the ensuing legal and professional consequences, resulting in a dramatic change in his career trajectory.

Morris Dees:

• I thought that Morris Dees represented the best in being a lawyer. When I was in Law School in Spokane, he won the case in Hayden Lake Idaho against Richard Butler and the Aryan Nations causing their bankruptcy and loss of their compound. I am sad for his fall from Grace.

• Morris Dees, the co-founder and former chief trial counsel of the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), experienced a significant fall from grace due to a combination of factors, including:

• Allegations of Sexual Harassment and Racism: Following a staff revolt and the resignation of a highly-respected Black attorney, numerous allegations of sexual harassment and racial discrimination within the SPLC surfaced. Employees wrote letters expressing concerns that internal issues threatened the SPLC's moral authority and integrity. Some female employees claimed they were warned against being alone with Dees. Some employees alleged that the Southern Poverty Law Center’s leadership had ignored or covered up multiple sexual assault allegations against Dees through the years and that female employees sometimes faced retaliation for making the claims.

• Workplace Culture Concerns: Beyond Dees, there were broader concerns about the SPLC's workplace culture, including a perceived lack of diversity, equity, and inclusion in leadership positions. Former employees expressed that the organization's predominantly white leadership didn't adequately address internal issues of racism and sexism.

• Focus on Fundraising over Litigation: Critics, including former SPLC staff, alleged that Dees was more focused on fundraising, particularly by targeting hate groups, than on crucial, but potentially less profitable, civil rights cases. The organization's legal department even resigned in 1985 in protest of Dees' approach, according to one account.

• Overreach in Labeling "Hate Groups": The SPLC has been criticized for labeling a wide range of organizations as "hate groups," often based on political or ideological differences rather than actual threats of violence. Some argue this strategy is used to demonize opponents and silence debate, rather than promoting civil discourse.

• Misconduct Allegations: Dees was eventually fired from the SPLC for "unspecified misconduct," after having previously been disciplined for "inappropriate conduct". While he denied the allegations, the SPLC stated his actions didn't reflect the organization's mission. 

• These issues, particularly the internal allegations of mistreatment, led to a leadership crisis at the SPLC, culminating in Dees's firing and the resignation of other senior leaders, including the organization's president, Richard Cohen. The events forced the SPLC to acknowledge its internal struggles and hire an outside organization to review its workplace culture. 

Lance Armstrong:

• I had a yellow "Live Strong" Lance Armstrong cancer bracelet that I wore for a long time. I looked up to him and thought of him when I pushed myself on my bike. He was inspiring. I am sorry for his fall from Grace.

• The celebrated cyclist and cancer survivor became a symbol of resilience and determination.

• Lance Armstrong's fall from grace was due to widespread doping and a systematic cover-up of his use of performance-enhancing drugs throughout his cycling career. 

• Here's a breakdown of the key factors that led to his downfall:

• Systematic Doping: Armstrong's success was built on a sophisticated doping program involving EPO, testosterone, blood transfusions, and other banned substances. This program was described by the U.S. Anti-Doping Agency (USADA) as "the most sophisticated, professionalized and successful doping program that sport has ever seen.".

• Years of Denial and Cover-up: Armstrong vehemently denied using performance-enhancing drugs for years, even attacking those who accused him of doping. He employed various tactics to evade detection, including timing doses carefully, using saline IVs to manipulate blood values, and allegedly paying off cycling officials to cover up positive tests.

• Whistleblower Testimony: Former teammates like Floyd Landis and Tyler Hamilton came forward with detailed accounts of the doping practices within the US Postal Service team, exposing Armstrong's role in organizing and enforcing the program.

• USADA Investigation and Report: The USADA conducted a comprehensive investigation, gathering extensive evidence including eyewitness accounts, financial records, and scientific data, concluding that Armstrong had engaged in systematic doping.

• Stripped Titles and Lifetime Ban: In 2012, Armstrong was stripped of his seven Tour de France titles and banned for life from competitive cycling by cycling's governing body following the USADA report. This decision was based on overwhelming evidence of his doping activities.

• Public Confession: After years of denials, Armstrong finally admitted to doping during a televised interview with Oprah Winfrey in January 2013. This confession confirmed the widespread use of performance-enhancing drugs and marked a turning point in the scandal.

• Loss of Endorsements and Financial Penalties: The scandal led to the loss of millions of dollars in endorsement deals and legal battles, including a $5 million settlement with the US government. 

• In summary, Lance Armstrong's fall from grace was caused by his systematic use of performance-enhancing drugs, his persistent denial of these practices, and the overwhelming evidence that ultimately exposed the truth, leading to the stripping of his titles, a lifetime ban, and irreparable damage to his reputation and legacy.

Mel Gibson:

• The Academy Award-winning actor and director's career was significantly impacted by reports of anti-Semitic and misogynistic remarks, along with allegations of abuse.

• Mel Gibson's fall from grace was largely due to a series of controversial statements and actions that revealed a pattern of problematic behavior, particularly involving anti-Semitic, homophobic, and misogynistic remarks, as well as accusations of domestic violence. 

• Here are key events that contributed to his downfall:

• DUI Arrest and Controversial Remarks: During a DUI arrest in 2006, Gibson made statements that drew widespread criticism.

• Leaked Tapes with Abusive Language: In 2010, audio recordings were leaked of Gibson making abusive remarks.

• Allegations of Domestic Violence: His ex-girlfriend alleged physical abuse, leading to a misdemeanor battery charge in 2011.

• Past Instances of Controversial Behavior: Even before these incidents, Gibson had a history of making controversial statements.

• Impact on Career and Reputation: These controversies significantly damaged Gibson's reputation and impacted his career in Hollywood for a period of time. 

• While Gibson has since directed successful films and continues to act, his earlier controversies have had a lasting impact on his public image and continue to be a subject of discussion.

Rudy Giuliani:

• Once hailed as "America's Mayor" for his leadership after the 9/11 attacks, Giuliani's reputation has been diminished due to various controversial actions and statements.

• Rudy Giuliani's fall from grace is a complex story with multiple contributing factors, but a central theme is his close involvement with Donald Trump and his efforts to overturn the 2020 election results. 

• Here's a breakdown of the key elements that led to his downfall:

• Role as Trump's Personal Attorney and "Fixer": Giuliani became a key figure in Trump's legal and political endeavors, taking on a role that involved pushing false allegations and conspiracy theories. He was described as Trump's chief fixer and attack dog.

• Efforts to Overturn the 2020 Election: Giuliani spearheaded lawsuits and made unfounded claims of widespread voter fraud in an attempt to overturn the election results. His actions were seen as a direct challenge to the integrity of the democratic process.

• Spreading False Allegations and Conspiracy Theories: Giuliani actively promoted conspiracy theories and pushed false allegations, such as the claim that election workers were engaged in illegal activity, leading to defamation lawsuits against him.

• Legal Consequences: His involvement in the post-election efforts resulted in devastating consequences, including:

  • Defamation lawsuits: He was found liable for defaming election workers and ordered to pay millions in damages.

  • Disbarment: Giuliani's law licenses in New York and Washington D.C. were suspended or revoked due to his actions and statements related to the 2020 election.

  • Criminal Charges: He faces criminal charges in Georgia and Arizona related to efforts to overturn election results.

• Damaged Reputation and Financial Ruin: Giuliani's public image and reputation, once seen as "America's Mayor" after 9/11, were severely damaged. His financial situation has also suffered, leading to personal bankruptcy. 

• In essence, Giuliani's decision to align himself closely with Trump and actively participate in efforts to overturn the 2020 election through the spread of false claims and legal actions is widely considered the primary cause of his fall from grace. This has led to a significant loss of respect, legal challenges, and financial ruin.

Paula Deen:

• The celebrity chef known for her Southern cooking and television shows lost her endorsements and was dropped by the Food Network following a racial discrimination lawsuit. 

• Paula Deen's fall from grace was primarily caused by admitting to using a racial slur and the ensuing public backlash and loss of endorsements and business relationships. 

• Here's a breakdown of the key factors:

• Lawsuit and Deposition: A lawsuit was filed against Deen and her brother by a former manager of their restaurant, alleging racial discrimination and sexual harassment. During a deposition for this lawsuit, Deen admitted to using the "N word" in the past.

• Public Outcry and Loss of Endorsements: When Deen's deposition testimony became public, it led to a widespread public outcry and a significant loss of endorsements and business relationships. Major companies like Walmart, Target, Home Depot, Sears, and JCPenney, as well as the Food Network, cut ties with her.

• Media Coverage and Backlash: The media extensively covered Deen's admission and the subsequent fallout, further fueling the public backlash.

• Impact on Reputation and Career: The controversy significantly damaged Deen's reputation and led to the cancellation of her Food Network show. 

• While the lawsuit itself was eventually dismissed, the revelation of Deen's use of racial slurs caused a severe and lasting impact on her career and public image.

Tiger Woods:

• I think Tiger Woods is amazing. He is a trailblazer for people of color in golf. I am sorry for his fall from Grace.

• The golf superstar's image as a wholesome family man was shattered by revelations of infidelity, resulting in the loss of major sponsors and a temporary hiatus from the sport. 

• Tiger Woods' fall from grace was primarily triggered by a scandal involving multiple extramarital affairs, which came to light following a car accident near his home in November 2009. 

• Here's a breakdown of the events:

• Car Accident: The car accident itself, where his SUV struck a fire hydrant and a tree, drew media attention and scrutiny to his personal life.

• Revelations of Infidelity: Shortly after the accident, the National Enquirer published a report alleging that Woods was having an affair with a nightclub hostess, Rachel Uchitel. This initial report was followed by numerous other women coming forward with similar claims, leading to widespread public exposure of his extramarital affairs.

• Public Outcry and Loss of Endorsements: The scandal caused a significant public outcry, leading to the loss of major endorsement deals with companies like Accenture, Gillette, and Gatorade.

• Impact on Career and Reputation: The scandal forced Woods to take a hiatus from golf, seek therapy, and undergo a divorce from his wife, Elin Nordegren. While he eventually returned to golf and even won the Masters in 2019, his reputation was significantly damaged, and his career was never quite the same as it was before the scandal. 

• In summary, Tiger Woods' fall from grace was a direct result of his infidelity, which came to light after a car accident and led to a media frenzy, public backlash, loss of endorsements, and damage to his career and reputation. 

Mario Batali:

I enjoyed seeing Mario Batali. I am sorry for his fall from Grace.

Mario Batali, a celebrated chef and restaurateur known for his Italian cuisine and frequent appearances on television, experienced a significant downfall largely due to numerous accusations of sexual misconduct and creating a hostile work environment. 

Here's a breakdown of the key factors that led to his fall from grace:

• Sexual Misconduct Allegations: In 2017, multiple women came forward with allegations of sexual harassment and assault by Batali, ranging from inappropriate touching to groping and sexual assault.

• Widespread Impact of #MeToo Movement: These allegations emerged during the height of the #MeToo movement, which emboldened victims to speak out against powerful individuals who had engaged in similar misconduct.

• Reports of Hostile Work Environment: Investigations and reports highlighted a culture of misconduct and harassment at restaurants associated with Batali, describing a "boys club" atmosphere where women were subjected to verbal and physical harassment.

• Legal Consequences and Settlements:

  • Batali faced criminal charges in Boston related to alleged sexual assault, though he was acquitted in a non-jury trial.

  • He also settled civil lawsuits with accusers.

  • In 2021, Batali, his business partner Joe Bastianich, and their restaurant company (formerly B&B Hospitality Group) agreed to a $600,000 settlement with the New York attorney general's office, resolving a four-year investigation into allegations of sexual harassment and discrimination.

• Professional and Financial Consequences:

  • Batali stepped away from his restaurant empire and sold his stake in the Batali & Bastianich Hospitality Group.

  • His name was removed from the restaurant group's website, and he no longer profits from his former restaurants.

  • He also sold his minority shares in Eataly, an Italian food market chain he was involved with.

  • ABC canceled "The Chew," a cooking talk show he co-hosted.

  • His reputation was severely damaged, and he faced significant backlash from the public and the restaurant industry. 

In summary, Mario Batali's fall from grace was primarily caused by the numerous and widespread accusations of sexual misconduct and the ensuing legal consequences and professional ramifications. His actions led to the dismantling of his extensive restaurant empire and a lasting impact on his public image.

Pete Rose:

I used to practice stealing 2nd base like Pete Rose. My mom said he had the best butt in MLB. My best friend Scott told him that when he saw him at a card signing event in Pennsylvania. I am sad for his fall from Grace.

Pete Rose's fall from grace in baseball was primarily caused by gambling on baseball games, specifically while he was managing the Cincinnati Reds. This was a clear violation of a fundamental rule in Major League Baseball (MLB). 

Here's a breakdown of the events that led to his ban and the impact:

• Gambling Allegations: In 1989, allegations surfaced that Rose was not only betting on baseball games but also on his own team while managing the Cincinnati Reds.

• MLB Investigation: MLB Commissioner A. Bartlett Giamatti initiated an investigation, led by lawyer John Dowd, which compiled extensive evidence of Rose's gambling activities, including betting on the Reds. The Dowd Report, a 225-page document, detailed these transgressions.

• Permanent Ban: Although Rose initially denied the allegations, he eventually accepted a settlement that resulted in a permanent ban from baseball in 1989. This ban prohibited him from working in MLB and made him ineligible for the Hall of Fame.

• Later Confession: After years of denial, Rose publicly admitted to betting on baseball in his 2004 autobiography, *My Prison Without Bars*.

• Impact on Legacy: Despite his impressive on-field accomplishments, including being the all-time hits leader in MLB, Rose's gambling scandal significantly damaged his legacy and prevented his induction into the National Baseball Hall of Fame. 

In summary, Pete Rose's gambling on baseball games, particularly on his own team, was the direct cause of his fall from grace in the sport. This violation led to his permanent ban and tarnished his otherwise legendary career.

Fred Rogers

Just Kidding. Fred Rogers is my hero.

Lawyer Jokes

 Here is a curated selection of classic lawyer jokes, categorized for quick reading.

The Classics

• What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer? A good lawyer knows the law. A great lawyer knows the judge.
• Why did the shark refuse to bite the attorney? Professional courtesy.
• What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? His briefcase.
• What is the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take your shoes off before you jump on a trampoline.

Billable Hours & Fees

• A man asks a lawyer his rates. "It is $500 for three questions," the lawyer says. "Isn't that awfully expensive?" asks the man. "Yes," replies the lawyer. "What is your third question?"
• A lawyer dies and goes to heaven. "There must be a mistake," the lawyer argues to Saint Peter. "I am only 40 years old!" Saint Peter looks at his book and replies, "According to your billable hours, you are 92."
• Why are laboratory scientists switching from mice to lawyers? There are some things a mouse just won't do, and you do not get as attached to the lawyers.

In the Courtroom

• A judge asks a defendant: "Do you understand you are facing charges of perjury?" The defendant turns to his attorney and asks, "What does that mean?" The lawyer replies, "It means you are going to jail if you tell the truth."
• What do you call a lawyer who loses his briefcase? Disarmed.
• How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb? How many can you afford?

OUTLIERS By Malcolm Gladwell (2008)

OUTLIERS By Malcolm Gladwell (2008)

 Adventure of Discovery of the Minds of Others.  Reading Malcolm Gladwell is to be in the presence of a great mind, a great heart, and a great spirit.  He goes beyond the intellectual stimulation for which he is so rightly famous, and shows real sensitivity to the human condition.  I feel that Malcolm Gladwell cares about what I do with the insights he has given me.  The insights themselves are a treat.  The caring on top of that is surprising and delightful.

I would feel presumptuous in the extreme to write a book review of any of  Malcom Gladwell's works.  I would feel wholly inadequate to do a book report on any of his works.  Instead, my attempt is to make notes on my experience of the adventure of discovery of the minds of others.  In so doing, it is my hope to honor Mr. Gladwell by showing just how much his work made me think, feel, and get more in touch with my humanity.

Mr. Gladwell wanted to be a lawyer.  He would have been an excellent lawyer (but it would have been a waste in the same way Eddie Redmayne becoming a lawyer would have been a waste).  Understanding the view from the other side of the table is vital to lawyering.  Getting into the mind of the opposing party, and opposing counsel, and understanding how they think and perceive the situation is an invaluable skill.  Mr. Gladwell celebrates that skill.  He is a master at play with that skill.  It is beautiful to watch.

                                                                                                                                                                       

What Leads to Success (and Failure).  Exploring  some of the interactions between the extraordinary skills, brainpower, and work and other factors such as when a person was born within the year and when and where in the context of world events a person is born can yield surprising insights.  As extraordinary as individual achievement can be, it always exists within a context. 

In an acceptance speech at the 1997 Emmy Awards, Fred Rogers famously timed a group of entertainment industry elites  for one minute while they thought about the people who loved them into being. The camera panned the faces in the audience as tears of gratitude began to flow.  No matter how much ability we have or how hard we worked, other individuals (and societies past and present) play a role in our success. Truly appreciating what we have been given must involve concern for the distribution of chances for meaningful work that we have enjoyed and others have not.

I heard an interview of Randy Newman in which he talked about the musicians he knows who are much more talented than he is, but don't have anywhere close to the wealth and fame he enjoys.  There is a beauty in the humility of Bill Gates when he says: "I was very lucky."  He's brilliant and he worked terribly hard, but understanding that other talented people work very hard and get the tiniest fraction of the rewards.

Relative Age & Canadian Hockey.  Mr. Gladwell tracks the birth month of Canadian Hockey Players to find that the largest majority are born in the first three months of the year and decrease to nearly nil by December 31st.  Scholars call the trajectories of successful hockey players "cumulative advantage."  The idea being that an elementary school student who is almost a year older than some peers gets selected early as more talented and given more opportunities to improve.  A talented hockey player born at the end of December simply never will get those same opportunities, no matter how talented.  Cumulative advantage over a decade surpasses any level of undeveloped talent.  This has been called the Matthew Effect from the biblical concept that the have's get more and the have nots have what little they have taken from them (rich get richer; poor get poorer).  Wealth and income inequality is nothing new.  A possible mitigator could be staggering the school year cutoff age so that for some it is January 1st and others it is July 1st.

I was born on July 7, 1968.   I an not talented at sports, so being born in the second half of the year didn't make any difference for me.  However, in part due to U.S. military involvement in Vietnam, 1968 as a "baby bust" year.  The generation right behind mine, the Baby Boomers, is the largest generation in American history.  MLK and Bobby Kennedy were both assassinated in 1968.  1974 was a peak year for divorce (that is the year my parent's divorced), which tends to be positively correlated with high unemployment and high inflation.  I don't know the extent of these world events on me, but I did get a fresh perspective on how what age a person is when world events occur can make a big difference in opportunities (or risks).  For example, my grandfather was born in 1901.  He was too young for WWI (13) and too old for Korea (49).  One of my mom's patient's at the VA Hospital in Spokane was in both WWI and WWII.

Opportunties Can Arise for One Generation; then Disappear.  Drivers of wealth creation change over time.  What was once a leading industry evaporates.  At one time wool was a huge industry in which great fortunes were made.  Nobody goes into wool to get rich today.  Cotton was once "King" creating fortunes (and misfortunes) that still reverberate through society today.  Nobody goes into cotton to get rich today.  Ditto Railroads. The largest accumulations of wealth in the world today tends to be clustered around Extraction (Oil, Gas, Coal, Metals & Minerals), Sale of Goods (Amazon, Walmart, Mars Candy, Fashion), and High Tech & Information (Apple, Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Amazon).  Extraction has such high barriers to entry that it is old money predominantly.  The new money is is tech and sales.  So, it matters a lot if you were born in 1935 or 1955.

Cultural Legacies (Past & Present.  It is a little easier to get my head around the idea the culture in which a person grows up may tend to provide some advantages and some disadvantages.  Getting used to the idea that how my ancestors lived centuries ago may be affecting me now is tougher, but Mr. Gladwell makes a compelling argument.

Asian Culture May Be of Benefit Understanding Math; But May Be Some Detriment in Communication Between Aircraft Pilots.  I never thought about the words used to represent numbers as having a bearing on the understanding of numbers, but they clearly do.  Since Cantonese has such short words for numbers, many Chinese people have no difficulty remembering a string of ten digits.  Most Americans struggle to do so.  I didn't know that Chinese numbers were the English equivalent of "ten-one,""ten-two,""ten-three,"4,6,6,7,8,9.  No fifteen.  Ten-Five.   Adding ten-one to ten-three is 2ten-four (24).  For fractions the English equivalent is "out of five parts; take three" instead of 3/5.  Having more intuitive descriptions for mathematical concepts appears to be a durable advantage.  There may be other advantages as well creating extraordinary cumulative advantage over time.

I was born in the village of Kwangju, South Korea, but I only lived there for a year before returning to the U.S. in 1969.  I know little of the culture.  I do remember reading an opinion piece in the Peace Corps newsletter from 1968 titled: "Why Do They Hate Us?."  The thinking was that it was because the relatively affluent Americans would leave after a couple of years and they would remain with their relatively difficult lives.  Now, that "village" has been subsumed by metropolitan Seoul, one of the largest cities in the world at over 25 million.  We have different groups that hate us for different reasons.

Korean culture is hierarchical.  It is based on subordinates hinting rather than expressing preference, rather than query, rather than suggestion, rather than objection, rather than command.  Psychologists use something called the Power Distance Index (PDI) to measure the continuum from individualism to collectivism.  Not surprising, America ranks high on the individualism scale and Korean culture ranks high on the collectivism scale.  The worldwide language of air traffic is English.  With English comes the bias in favor of more directness (that is putting it mildly in the case of LaGuardia).  So, a navigator or co-pilot who isn't speaking up to the Captain out of fear of being insubordinate can and did cause Korean Air crashes.  The safety record has been much improved through conscientious application of Aviation English and its concomitant bias in favor of speaking up.  It was the awareness of the cultural bias in favor of extreme deference to superiors as the issue causing the crashes that made the difference.  Assertiveness can be learned even if it isn't something a person grew up practicing.

Honor Cultures & Rice Paddy Cultures.  When I visited Ulster in Northern Ireland and saw the red hand monument and heard the bad ass story about the cutting off of the hand and throwing it ashore to be the first to touch land and claim it, I was taken aback by the testosterone that seemed to be showering all around.

I remember thinking about the seeming insanity of both Alexander Hamilton and his son dying in duels. I didn't know that these were the hallmarks of honor cultures. Perhaps because I am descended from poor Irish potato farmers, I can't relate to the ancient blood feuds of the Capulets and Montagues or the Hatfields and McCoys. 

Mr. Gladwell explains that a herding culture on hard scrabble land of marginal productivity is very different from a Rice Paddy Culture.  A herd of sheep, or goats, or cows, can be stolen ("rustled").  A rice crop cannot.  Growers of rice need cooperation for harvest.  They do not need to be intimidating.  Machiavelli said, "While it is preferable to be loved; if one cannot be loved - it is much safer to be feared."  It is with this backdrop that the killing in the Southern United States today starts to make sense.  People are killing people they know because of a disagreement, adultery, or a threat to "honor" of some kind.

10,000 Hours to Gain Expertise.  Mr. Gladwell is famous for exploring the idea that it takes 10,000 hours to become expert at something, anything - regardless of talent.  Bill Gates is a talented computer programmer.  He had far beyond 10,000 hours (and over 10 years of experience) by the time he dropped out of Harvard. Even Mozart arguably didn't produce a work of truly lasting significance until after he had been composing for 10 years.

After graduating Law School in 2002 I worked for law firms for five years until 2007.  2,000 hours per year for 5 years is 10,000 hours.  So, in my personal case, even though I had not heard of the 10,000 rule, I judged that I had gained enough expertise to "hang out my shingle" after that amount of time.

I worked in a Plaintiff's litigation firm, a family law firm, an insurance defense firm, and an estate planning and probate firm during those years. In Law School I did an internship in Criminal Defense.   I had a client call me crying because her x-husband sold their house and she didn't get her share of the proceeds.  I asked her in she recorded the Divorce Decree, the Judgment in her favor for half the home equity.  She said no because she didn't know she had to do so. Since I practiced divorce and had the experience from estate planning regarding deeds, I would never make that mistake.

My experience in litigation gives me insight into how Creditor's Lawyers approach suing Debtors.  I encourage clients to think about the view from the other side of the table so to speak.  Debt is an asset to be sold.  Judgments accrue 12% interest.  So, waiting to collect on debt is the equivalent of letting crops mature to harvest.  Harvest needs to be as quick and inexpensive as possible because delays cut into profits and incur "opportunity costs" because time spent calculating your balance due that you may never pay is time that could be spent making money from someone else.  Litigators who bill by the hour don't make money settling debts.  They have a disincentive for doing so.

My experience in Divorce Law in Las Vegas taught me that there is a conflict of interest between a lawyer billing $500 an hour and a client who wants to efficiently extricate themselves from a bad marriage.  Such lawyers have a disincentive regarding amicable settlement and would certainly never entertain the notion of an uncontested divorce by mail, which is available in Lincoln County Washington for all Washington State residents.

My experience in Insurance Defense taught me that law can be as dull as watching paint dry and unethical to boot.  A firm of a dozen lawyers had the objective of billing the insurance company (AIG) as many hours over 8 hours a day per lawyer as possible.  AIG did not simply state that overtime must be authorized in advance.  Instead they let the meter run while the partner talked on a cell phone while driving to a deposition billing .2 (twelve minutes) for every conversation no matter how short.  Thus, an hour of drive time could be billed for three hours. This reminded me of the joke about the lawyer asking Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates why he died so young.  Saint Peter replied that his billable hours indicated that he would have to be at least 150 years old.

I saw an ad in the back of the Nevada Bar Journal the likes of which I had not seen before, and have not seen since, for a commission only lawyer (25% of all billing).  After working the job for 6 months I knew why.  I didn't need the Managing Partner.   I could go out on my own - and did.  I made more than my salary working for firms.  The Managing Partner just got on the panel for a legal insurance provider, even though he had been practicing for 15 years.  Since he didn't know anything about it, he put me in charge of learning the insurance rules and interacting with the insurance provider.  I thank him for that to this day because I have made well over $1 million dollars over the years from legal insurance.

Stay in School.  My mom always told me to stay in school (and I did though my Masters Degree and my J.D.).  As a "latchkey kid" of a single parent mom, I could really related to what Mr. Gladwell explored regarding research into how much kids learn during the school year, and how much they learn over the summer.  It turns out that the most affluent kids learn a tremendous amount more over the summer than the least affluent kids.  This was certainly true of me.  Waiting to see if my dad would take me somewhere and do something with me was not the best use of time.

American schools have a 180-day school year; Japanese schools have 243.  The Knowledge is Power Program (KIPP) in the South Bronx with a year round schedule is what I needed growing up.  I needed a sense that I was worth investing in.  I needed to believe that if I got up early and worked hard and talked with people, I would belong - and have a bright future.

Serenity Prayer.  Pray for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we cannot.  Up until this point, the discussion of success has concerned things we cannot change about ourselves - our birth month, our birth year, our current culture, or the culture of our ancestors.  However, we have a chance of transforming our relationship to work if we appreciate these influences and become more skilled at adapting to our environment.  

I enjoyed target practice archery as a young person.  One of the things you need to pay attention to is even the slightest breeze.  If you are not aware of it and don't make adjustments you could completely miss the target.   We can't change when or where we were born or who our ancestors were, but we can be more aware of the influences these things may be having on us.  We can make adaptations and guage whether they are useful or maladaptive.

ESTATE PLANNING FOR YOUNG PEOPLE

 Age 18 is referred to as the "age of majority" in the United States and much of the rest of the world.  This means that on your 18th birthday you receive by operation of law the right to:

1. Open a bank account under your own name and social security number only;

2. Obtain a credit card;

3. Vote;

4. Purchase real estate or stock in your own name only;

5. Open a 401(k), IRA or Roth IRA;

6. Sign contracts enforceable against you;

7. Sign a Revocable Living Trust;

8 Sign Powers of Attorney for Finances & Health

9. Sign Living Wills;

10. Sign Transfer on Death Deeds;

11. Sign a Last Will & Testament; 

12. To marry without parental consent; and

13. To file a Tax Return in your own name and social security number.

That is a lot of rights and responsibilities to get all in one day.    

Practicing in the areas of Bankruptcy and Estate Planning, I see young people who get into trouble with debt early in their lives, which could have been avoided through education about finances and credit. 

I see young people who get into trouble with the IRS and the Washington State Department of Revenue because they didn't understand the Business & Occupation Tax or deductions.

I see young people who don't know how to balance a checkbook and don't look at their bank statements.

I see young people who don't vote.

I see young people who don't file tax returns (or who file them improperly and don't keep records).

I see young people who don't begin modestly saving and investing for retirement.

I see young people who don't know that they have the right to have a Separate Property Revocable Living Trust, to keep property separate during marriage (and after divorce, if applicable), and to receive separate gifts and inheritance during marriage.  I see young people who don't know that because their Trust becomes irrevocable if they die, their children are protected from disinheritance if a spouse remarries.

I see young people who don't know that they have the right to name health care agents who have the right to access (or those who don't have the right to access) their health care information and talk to their health care providers (Universities often require this, which is the impetus for many young people's parents contacting me).

I see young people who don't know that they have the right to name an agent to sign checks and contracts for them if they are not able to do so for themselves thereby negating the need for a Guardianship Proceeding (Understanding this right also gives young people a better understanding of how to act as their parents' agent and care for them when the time comes).

I see young people who don't know that they have the right to authorize a health care agent to pull the plug on life support, remove a feeding tube and remove IV fluid or not (and that their parent's have the same right and that they may be called upon to carry out their parent's wishes).

I see young people who don't know that they have the right to avoid probate on any real estate in Washington with a Transfer on Death Deed with a step up in cost basis to the date of death value (and that their parents have the same right which can save them thousands of dollars, 6 months or more of Estate administration time, and avoid public disclosure to the Court).

I see young people who don't know that a Will requires a Court and the associated cost, time, and public disclosure or that Probate does not require a Will.

I see young people who know they can marry, but don't understand the value of talking about financial issues in advance and the value of being organized to reduce anxiety and increase a sense of being in control of one's life.  I see young people who don't know they can keep gifts and inheritance separate during marriage, but that if commingling with community property occurs that separate character may be lost.

Conclusion.  The point is that because I have seen all of these things, I feel an obligation to help reduce the difficulties that can occur as a result.  Young people who have some financial and legal sophistication early in their lives are less likely to get into debt problems, more likely to save for retirement, more likely to vote, more likely to correctly file tax returns, more likely to do their own estate planning, more likely to take better care of their parents when needed and to administer their Estate when needed without disputes, and are more likely to encourage their own kids to obtain the same kind of financial and legal sophistication that benefitted them in their lives.

Peace and harmony through generations of families can be promoted by having a common basis of knowledge and values.  Communicating with each other about these issues is intended to promote strength and resilience in families so that if a family member is in a coma or dies, the rest of the family doesn't argue and fight, but instead experiences increased gratitude, compassion, and kindness.  All of us face sickness and death.  It is how we respond individually and collectively that defines who we are.  Is who we are who we want to be?  If not, there are things we can do together to learn and grow.

UNMARRIED PARTIES BUYING A HOME TOGETHER

 When unmarried people buy a home together several issue tend to arise.

1. How to Take Title at Purchase. Most married people take title as Joint Tenants with Right of Survivorship so that if one spouse dies, the surviving spouse owns the home.  Unmarried people can do the same, or they can hold title in the default way for unmarried people, which is Tenants in Common.  That means each can pass their undivided one half interest to their heirs (which may or may not be their Partner).  Unmarried people may also choose to take title in some other percentage other than 50/50 such as 60/40 to account for unequal contributions to mortgage payments and/or down payment.

2.  Changing Title After Purchase.  Parties can record a Quitclaim Deed to themselves or their Trusts or LLC's or others after purchase.  Typically, no Real Estate Excise Tax is due for doing so because no payments are being made.  **WARNING** Changes in title do not affect Promissory Note obligations.  Doing so requires a refinance or sale.  This can create a risk if the relationship ends and one party signs and records a Quitclaim Deed to the other.  If both Parties signed the Promissory Note, then a Default occurring years in the future will be entered on the credit reports of both Parties even if one Party hasn't owned the property for a decade or more.

2. How to Address Unequal Down Payment Contributions.  A Promissory Note and Deed of Trust can be signed in favor of one party who contributes more down payment than the other.  Interest is permitted, but not required.  The balance needs to be paid if the property is refinanced or sold.  Then the net proceeds are divided according to the percentage ownership of those on title to the property.

3. Agreements Regarding the Purchase.  Agreements regarding property purchases are subordinate to other aspects of the transaction such as how title is taken, promissory notes, and deeds of trust.  Such agreements also typically include language regarding rights if one party passes away or if the relationship ends.  Because of this, I have found that by far the best and most complete way to address the issues is within the context of estate planning for both parties.  

4. Estate Planning & Home Buying.  Buying a home and estate planning go hand in glove and are frequently paired.  One reason is that a Transfer on Death Deed for the home is part of the Estate Plan.  Another part is the Powers of Attorney for Health and Living Wills, which are especially important for unmarried Parties who otherwise may not be able to talk with doctors about each other's care.

Conclusion.  By doing an Estate Plan for each Party and understanding what public records cannot be altered by private agreements, the Parties can get a much richer understanding of what they are doing and hopefully avoid pitfalls and disputes.